CC Bob Long retires but keeps it funny

By Kevin Roderick, LA Observed
More transitions at Channel 4 (Los Angeles). Longtime TV news figure Bob Long has announced his retirement as VP and News Director at KNBC. There are lighter and more serious versions of the news circulating in the Burbank newsroom. Long’s funnier take begins below; the announcement from the suits is below:

A younger Bob Long and actor Mary Tyler Moore

From: Long, Robert (NBC Universal, KNBC)
Sent: Wednesday, August 26, 2009 11:18 AM
Subject: Last Writethru

BURBANK (AP) — Los Angeles newsman Robert Long today announced his retirement from KNBC. A station spokesman, who would give her name only as “Trixie”, said that KNBC staffers were sorry to see Long go, but they’d get over it.

The man some called “The General” because of his remarkable resemblance to Marine Corps hero “Chesty” Puller, is thought to have begun his career in journalism at the age of 14 over shots and beer in a Washington, D. C. saloon.

Archives of The Washington Post (in the 1950s cities had information distribution systems called “newspapers”) show that Fidel Castro was in town to meet with President Eisenhower and try to establish normal relations with the U. S. Legend has it that Castro dispatched one of his lieutenants to round up some women for a discussion of Marxist metrics that evening at the embassy, and ran into Long over brewskies.

Long allegedly told the “barbudo” what he knew about finding women and out of sympathy for the youngster’s bizarre notions on the subject, the freedom fighter invited Long to hang with Castro and the boys and learn a thing or two. Thus, folklore has it, began the long career of a man investigative journalist and longtime Long associate Frank Snepp described as “Zelig with a gun”.

“He was always around the ball but no one knew what position he played or what team he was on,” Snepp said. “First there was the Castro thing, then a meeting with Khrushchev. He was at Time Magazine when Kennedy was murdered and showed up at Yale with George Bush. In the thick of things in Vietnam, he was an advisor to a Marine general who was killed in action. Then he shows up in the Congo with Mobutu and in Beirut during the civil war. It goes on and on. The guy’s a freak.”

Ed Asner and Bill Shatner held a joint newsconference shortly after word of Long’s retirement leaked out.

“We made a good living portraying this guy on TV,” Shatner said. Asner added, “I’m probably too old to play him again, but MTM and I have talked about a reprise of some of his best newsroom stuff. She’s never forgotten working for him at CBS.”

Reached at his forward command post, Camp Barsac, Long said, “You’ve got to filter all that through a good martini. A grenade went off near Frank’s head in Saigon, Asner’s a commie, and Shatner never got over my working with Nimoy.”

Asked if he was leaving KNBC because he was too “Old Corps” to handle new technologies and the rise of “citizen journalism”, Long hurled his Zippo at the questioner’s head and snorted, “No one has ever accused me of giving a damn what people think. If I wanted their opinion, I’d give it to them. That’s what real journalists do.

As for that Israeli Rosetta Stone of an operating system, I can make it do barrel rolls. I’m leaving because I’m turning 65, you moron. It took me weeks to figure out how to enroll in Medicare and that was a sign. I could sit around channeling Jerry Dunphy or go to Istanbul to teach at a private university and fish for Turkish trout in the Atlas Mountains. It’s a no-brainer.”

 “All I can say about that,” Snepp said, “is watch the Middle East. Long thinks he’s some kind of Jedi and he’s on a mission. Let’s pray the Turkish power companies aren’t into wind farms.

Now the official version from general manager Craig Robinson:
Bob Long possesses many great qualities and one of his best is that he’s a man of his word. He has long maintained that 2009 would be his final year leading a newsroom and, sadly for us, he is keeping to that plan, announcing his retirement effective Friday, September 25th. Also true to form, his next move will be exotic and glamorous – he is leaving on October 1st to teach a semester of journalism ethics at Bahçeşehir University on the Bosphorus, the legendary waterway that divides Europe and Asia in Istanbul, Turkey.

Those of us who have worked with Bob are members of a small and privileged club. Trying to explain the gift of this experience to someone who hasn’t is nearly impossible. He taught us something new every day, and every morsel was accompanied by laughter and humor. I had the rare chance to work with him twice and I don’t take that privilege lightly. Bob’s professional acknowledgements include numerous Golden Mikes, Emmys and Edward R. Murrow Awards as well as a 2005 Peabody Award for broadcast excellence.

These awards speak to his journalistic accomplishments; just as notable is how good he made you feel about doing your job every day. Long was on the cutting edge of digital technology and program content development when he launched “News Raw” on KNBC’s Digital Channel in 2005. The avant-garde news service utilizes a single “News Jockey” and takes viewers behind-the-scenes of the KNBC newsroom and on the stories of the day. It was one of the first news programs to offer a glimpse of what’s Hot on the Internet and to feature local bloggers talking about Southern California issues and happenings.

Prior to joining KNBC as Vice President, News Director, Long was Vice President, News and Operations at WRC-TV in Washington, DC. He led that newsroom to across-the-board dominance from 1999 to 2003. From 1997 to 1999, Long served as Managing Editor at KNBC. Long also served as Executive Producer for “World Report” at KCBS (1995-1997) and Managing Editor/ Executive Producer at KCOP-TV (1991-1995).

His broadcast career began at the tender age of 14 in Washington, DC, as part of Fidel Castro’s entourage, the details of which are best left for Bob to tell. Barely out of high school, he was a Copy Boy for Time Magazine. Long briefly attended Yale University, while a stringer for Time Magazine, and thereafter worked as a writer for WWDC Radio News in Washington.

In 1966, he joined the Marine Corps and became a combat correspondent. Two years later, he became a “rewrite man” for the Associated Press and then moved on to become a senior news writer (among other positions) for KNXT, now KCBS, from 1969 to 1975. Long was the founder and owner of Robert Long Productions, an independent production company involved in TV filmmaking from 1975 to 1992.

During this phase of his career, Long produced a number of documentaries, served as series producer on the long-running “In Search Of…with Leonard Nimoy” and was the senior field producer for the groundbreaking reality magazine program, “Real People,” which debuted on NBC in 1979.

Additionally, he produced the 1984 NBC Movie of the Week “Two Fathers, Justice,” starring Robert Conrad and George Hamilton. Bob will maintain his home base in Bel Air, California, so those of us in Southern California will continue to live vicariously through his travels and adventures.

 Journalism is changed forever because of his gifts. And in a few weeks, academia, half a world away, will be changed as well. We fondly wish him all the best.